Okay so, hi. I’m Maria and you probably know that I’m graduating soon because I have not shut up about it. One reoccurring theme I have been faced with is my friends giving me shit for not going out with them. Sometimes I’d rather stay home all weekend than see anyone but my roommates. For some people, that’s shocking. I’m here to unpack why I’m not lazy, I just need time for myself. For those of you who feel me, be sure to leave me a comment on your experiences as well.
Introversion VS Shyness
Why am people shocked when I say I’m an introvert? Usually it’s because I am generally an outgoing person, confident and I can have a conversation with most people. But that doesn’t mean I want to. Shyness and introversion are often confused with each other. Being shy is usually associates with being timid, reserved or nervous. Introversion is the idea that certain people gain energy by being alone, as opposed to extroversion, being where you gain energy by being surrounded by people. People may choose not to engage with groups often due to their shyness, but that doesn’t mean they’re an introvert. They may want to gain energy from a group, but their shyness gets in the way with it. So here’s the tea: I’m an introvert but not shy. We exist ya’ll.
We’re all busy, man
Okay, as a student who works, tries to actually get school work done, sustain a social life, see my family and hang out with my boyfriend…sometimes there’s just a lot going on. Don’t get me wrong, after a while of not going out, I get the itch to. But I cannot be bothered to go out every single weekend. During the week, I am either running around to classes, doing school work or volunteering. On top of that, there are weeks that I work full-time hours, which doesn’t leave a lot of space for things to get done. When the weekend rolls around, I’m playing catch up. I want to catch up on cleaning my apartment, hanging out with my pets and most importantly - sleep!
As a society I feel as though we feel pressure to always be involved in what’s going on. Especially since it’s all so noticeable on social media, it can seem like we’re missing out on so many things when we’re at home scrolling through Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook. However, I think we have to try to move away from this mentality. As Americans (whether from the US or North America), we have a culture of always being busy. It’s like if you’re not busy, you’re not productive. On the contrary! If you’re constantly busy, you may not be reaching the productivity that you’d like to. We need to focus on slowing down and just taking time for ourselves. It doesn’t make us lazy, it gives us time to reflect and relax, so we can be more productive going forward.
I love my space
For months before I moved into my apartment I planned exactly what I wanted it to look like. I thought of every detail and tailored it towards what was feasible given my budget, but also what would make the most sense when I was physically in the space and using it. Over time, I’ve curated a comfy but workable space, and I love it. I’m someone that is pretty attached to home and I love being there. Although I can get antsy if I spend too much time at home, I often don’t, which is why I highly value my space when I am. Not only is there the physical space that I love, but also the space away from people. I know this sounds mean to some, but sometimes I just need to hang out by myself, eating popcorn in bed and watching Netflix.
Spread out the fun
Sometimes I think that it’s more exciting to go out when there’s something to celebrate. If every weekend we’re going out and partying just for the sake of it, I think it could get boring and not exciting anymore. If we spread out the fun to when there’s a special occasion, it makes celebrating those times more special. For instance, you will almost never catch me in fancier clothing unless I have an event to go to - maybe a work dinner celebrating a big success, or an anniversary party celebration. I always get excited when I get to take out my fancy clothes, and really focus on my hair and make up. However, if I did this all the time, I feel like the novelty would fade away. It’s not about not wanting to get dressed up nice and have a fun time on the town, it’s about balance and enjoying the special moments even more
I mean, by now you may have shifted your opinion of me being “lazy” to me being a grandma, but honestly, I’m cool with that. I hope if you’re an extrovert or someone with high-energy (unlike me) you have a better understanding of where your friends are coming from. It’s almost always nothing personal. It’s about balance, and making sure we’re at the full capacity to do great things. I’ll leave you with this - it’s much better to have a fun night out when someone doesn’t feel obligated to be there. Let the good times come naturally.
If you feel the same way about needing some space sometimes, share your experience in the comments!
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